Christmas tree 08

 


It's not the greatest photo, but it was quite cold. We got our Christmas tree last week at McCurdy's Tree Farm. It included a hay ride, a saw, free apples, and fire -- all popular things in our family.

Sometimes it's better not to have a Ph.D.

 








We had a small crisis recently. Oliver wanted to be a princess. He put beads on his head and said, "Oliver's a princess!"

I silently panicked. I had just the day before read an article about transgender children. Where will we get the money, I thought, to afford puberty-blocking hormones, therapy for each of us, new clothes for the trans-twin, and even a new home in a new community where we can pass him off as always having been a girl? I have a Ph.D., after all, and much of what we learned in graduate school had to do with how each person's identity is unassailable, and how oppressive gender cultural norms are, and how ridiculous American masculinity is, anyway.

The boys have a babysitter (who, thankfully, does not have a Ph.D.). She reported to me that Oliver put beads on his head and said, "Oliver's a princess!" She replied "Oliver, girls are princesses. You're a prince. Let's make a crown so you can be a prince."

His response when he saw me? "Oliver's a prince, mommy! Princess is for girls."

Oh.

I hear it! I hear the train!

Mr. Kraybill came to the church preschool time with his model train. He worked on the railroad for many years. Wesley couldn't move away from the table - watched it for a long time.

Giving thanks

I worry about the boy's religious education, as many Christian parents surely do. Sometimes religion just seems so abstract. I tried to discuss Wesley's Sunday School worksheet with him. It was a picture of an ark that he had colored blue, with the phrase "God keeps his promises" written above it. I said, "What did you do in Sunday School?" He answered, "Blue boat!" "Right," I said, "It's about how God keeps promises." This angered him. "No mommy, it's a boat. A blue boat." Attributing additional symbolic meanings came across to him as if I was changing the name of the object arbitrarily.

The twins are at the literal stage, trying to understand objects and their names. To throw in symbolic meanings, especially those that refer to invisible religious beings, seems totally confusing. They love Sunday School, and have positive associations with Jesus and the Bible, so that's probably good enough for their age.

Prayer is also difficult -- I don't want to teach them to project their desires onto God and expect answers (doesn't that approach to prayer get adults into trouble?) So
on Thanksgiving I decided to try practicing gratitude -- "What do you like?" I asked, figuring "What are you grateful for?" doesn't make sense to them. "Raisins," said Wesley. And Oliver, "Raisins too!" I said I was grateful for turkey.

This morning I tried again, "What do you like?" "Animal crackers," said Wesley. And Oliver, "Animal crackers too!" I said I liked ice cream.

If life continues to be full of pleasure, food, and gratitute, I'll be content.